Don't Rush Me, I'm Working Carefully To Change Things - PMB

Following criticisms that he has been slow since he assumed office, President Muhammadu Buhari, has urged Nigerians for patience, saying he is working seriously to tackle the many national challenges.

President Buhari stated that though there were heaps of misdeeds of the past administration, he would ensure that every wrong of the past is corrected. He added as part of his Ramadan message, that stamping out corruption still remained one of the cardinal objectives of his administration.

Tragedy averted as two First Nation Airways plane collide at Lagos Airport (photos)

According to a report by the News Agency of Nigeria, tragedy was averted today July 17th at the Murtala Muhammed Airport Terminal 2 (MMA2) in Lagos following a ground collision of 2 aircraft belonging to FirstNation Airways.

Friday’s incident which happened at about mid-day involved two Airbus 330 conveying not fewer than 250 passengers. The two aircraft had their bodies partially damaged as a result of the collision. A source at the airport said one of the aircrafts was taxiing from the runway to MMA2, to disengage passengers while the other aircraft was preparing to take off to Port-Harcourt Airport from the same terminal.

The Port-Harcourt bound aircraft was parked at Gate 4 while the arriving aircraft was bound for the Gate 3 of the terminal. The source alleged that the pilot may have been misdirected by the marshals who misdirected the arriving aircraft to the same Gate as the parked aircraft which led to the two wings brushing each other. Following the incident, the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority (NCAA), immediately, grounded both aircraft while passengers were asked to disembark by the airline. It was further gathered that the refunds of tickets were made to passengers on the Port-Harcourt bound aircraft by the airline.

The NCAA also confirmed the incident in a statement issued by its General Manager, Public Affairs, Mr Fan Ndubuoke. Ndubuoke said no passenger was hurt and that the incident had been referred to the Accident Investigation Bureau (AIB) for further investigation. He also reiterated NCAA’s commitment to safety and security of passengers. 

Source: NAN

See How This Guy Messed Himself Up Because of Money

This guy stripped to his boxers at the branch of a popular Nigerian bank, after accusing them of removing N25,000 from his account illegally. According to sources, the guy said after several efforts to get them to refund the money, he had no choice but to react by storming the bank, stripped himself, sat on the floor like a mad man and insisted he won't leave the bank until his money is refunded.

Shm! So this guys with his fine boxers, necklace, phone, etc. can't think of a better to get his N25k from the bank other than to rubbished himself in front of young people? Poverty is indeed a disease!

More photos of the guy who sat on nothing...

He was spotted at Allen Junction, Ikeja yesterday. I know it's a trick but it's still astounding...More pics after the cut...

Here Are The Questions Okonjo-Iweala Should Answer

Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo State has said that there is nothing ‘personal’ between him and former Minister of Finance and Coordinating Minister of the Economy, Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala. But he has also insisted that she must provide answers to the tough questions about our money.

BLACKMAIL WON’T HELP YOUR CASE, OSHIOMHOLE TELLS OKONJO-IWEALA
As much as her Spokesman tries to dramatize his response in defense of his boss, he has shown a manifest uninformed disposition to issues of simple economics of naira and kobo.

Here is a former Minister who has changed her position four times in the last forty days; each position exposing her dubiety of facts and inherent contradictions in the concocted tales she has been weaving on one simple issue: what happened to t5he $2.1b ECA funds?

PERTINENT QUESTIONS:
The simple questions which the Comrade Governor asked were: how come those accruals into the Excess Crude Account got depleted without the knowledge of the National Economic Council?

How come monies that were supposed to accrue into the said account cannot be found in it going by the balance sheet provided by the former Minister? How come the Minister unilaterally dipped her hand into the Excess Crude Account to spend money in defiance of the constitution and the laws of the land?

How come that the Minister finds it convenient to publish allocations to States and Local Governments, but refused to publish accruals into the same account for us to know the status of the account at any point in time; how much was left from where she was distributing from?

What the Comrade Governor stated was that; it was interesting to note that by December 2012, the ECA had a balance of over $10billion. This had been depleted to $2.07billion by May 2015, according to the former Finance Minister. Between January 2013 and May 2015, not more than $4billion was shared among the three tiers of Government. Indeed, the last time any money was shared from the ECA was in May 2013.

Flowing from the above statement of facts, the Comrade Governor then asked a very pertinent question; how come there was no accretion to the ECA even when Crude oil prices averaged between $100 to $108 within the three years period of 2011 to 2014, aware that the National Budgets were based on $77 and $79 benchmark?

That gives an average of $30 per barrel gains. In fact, based on rough estimates, Nigeria should earn not less than $30billion accretion based on the official oil exports of 2.3 million barrels per day. The question which Okonjo-Iweala could not answer is; how come Nigeria did not make any savings during those three years of unprecedented oil price boom? Simple question that should ordinarily elicit simple response.

Without a scintilla of numerical reference, Okonjo-Iweala went into a voyage of storytelling like an intellectual raconteur, leaving out the real substance of the Comrade Governor’s salient questions.

First, she responded on May 28, 2015 where she denied the allegations describing them as “baseless”. Among other things she claimed that the 36 State Governors who are joint owners of the Excess Crude Account [ECA] with the Federal Government were in full picture of how the ECA was managed.

She stated inter alia; “how can Governor Oshiomhole claim that State Governors were not properly briefed on the status of the ECA when his Commissioner of Finance attends all FAAC meetings where decisions are taken and communicated to the nation?”

On June 29, 2015 exactly a month after, at the inaugural meeting of the National Economic Council [NEC] presided over by Vice President Professor Yemi Osibanjo, and with 36 states in attendance deliberated on the status of the ECA. After a critical scrutiny, it was discovered that indeed Dr. Okonjo-Iweala spent $2.1billion from the ECA without authorization by the NEC.

That money was neither distributed to states nor paid to the three tiers of government. This was the rationale for the setting up of the four-man Panel to look at what accrued, what it was spent for, when and by whom and who authorized the spending, so that Nigerians will have full picture of all the transactions as regards the much talked about Excess Crude Account.

SHIFTING THE GOAL POST
On June 30, 2015, Okonjo-Iweala was once again reported as categorically denying unauthorized expenditure from the ECA under her purview, describing the findings of NEC as “false, malicious and without foundation”.

According to her, decisions on such expenditure and sharing were discussed at meetings of FAAC attended by Finance Commissioners from the 36 states.

In her words; “it is curious that in their desperation to use the esteemed National Economic Council for political and personal vendetta, the persons behind these allegations acted as if the constitutionally recognized FAAC, a potent expression of Nigeria’s fiscal federalism, does not exist”.

Is FAAC superior to NEC? Does FAAC have the constitutional powers to give approval for withdrawals from ECA?

On June 30, 2015 the Comrade Governor stated during his Live Television interview with Channels Television that the power to take money from ECA was vested in the NEC, an institution created by the Constitution and not State Finance Commissioners who were members of FAAC, an administrative arrangement that was not known to the Constitution.

Rather than open up, giving full disclosure, she was opening part of the book and not the entire book. According to Comrade Oshiomhole, the logic of transparency is that every Minister must publish in full what is accruing to the Federation Account month-to-month basis and what is distributed to them.

On July 7, 2015, barely a week after Okonjo-Iweala claimed that FAAC was involved in the unauthorized spending from the ECA, members of FAAC under the aegis of Forum of Finance Commissioners in a public statement, denied approving any withdrawal of the said $2.1 billion.

The 36 Finance Commissioners categorically described the former Minister’s claim as “misleading, and far from the fact”. Hear them; “the Law setting up FAAC, which pre-dates the ECA did not empower the Commissioners to approve such withdrawals, and that there were records of Committee’s meetings to show that they had always queried the activities on the ECA, particularly on withdrawals.

FAAC did not and could not have approved or took the decision to withdraw the sum of $2billion from the Excess Crude Account”.

On July 8, 2015, Okonjo-Iweala opened up a bit of the real gist when she admitted that $2billion was indeed withdrawn from the ECA this time, on the directives of former President Goodluck Jonathan.

She further confirmed that the money was used to pay petroleum subsidies and not shared to the 36 states as she earlier declared.

The former Minister was quoted as saying; “payments made were used for paying for petroleum subsidies for the Nigerian people and were approved by Mr. President”.

She then made a volte face saying she did not claim that FAAC members approved the spending but that they were informed of the decision, “if monies were used to pay for subsidies for the Nigerian people and duly approved, why is Okonjo-Iweala’s name being battered in this way? She wondered, adding that “this persecution should stop”.

In fact, she is the one that is persecuting herself.
Subjecting this position to the crucible, one is prompted to ask Okonjo-Iweala if in all her experiences at the World Bank and elsewhere whether, the President has the right and powers under our laws to give approval for the withdrawal of $2billion from the ECA?

Whether the President has the power to usurp the powers of NEC with respect to withdrawals from the ECA? Whether the President has the powers to touch any money that belongs to the States and Local Governments?

It may interest Okonjo-Iweala to note that when the $5billion Power Intervention Fund was approved by NEC with all the 36 states Governors in session, due process had to be followed before the money was withdrawn from the ECA. Indeed, each of the 36 Governors had to seek the authorization of the Houses of Assembly, the 774 Local Government Chairmen and their Legislative Councils.

Just waking up in the morning to declare that “Mr. President” gave the approval and it was used to pay subsidy claims flies in the face of logic, common sense, due process and law. Was payment for subsidy not captured in the Appropriation Law?

Why would a Minister that is worth her salt dip her hands into our collective patrimony to take that much, a whopping $2billion on the directives of one Mr. President?

Can any World Bank Chief Executive dip hands into the till to take what belongs to all vide approval against what the laws and rules guiding World Bank specify? Was the Federal Government portion of the $2.1billion appropriated by the National Assembly before it was used to pay oil marketers?

To the best of our knowledge, there was nothing of the sort. We think very seriously that Okonjo-Iweala has more questions to answer. She has shifted grounds on four different scores. That tells so much on her integrity.
According to Brian Tracy, that celebrated author; “integrity is more than a value.

It is the one quality of mind that assures or guarantees all the other values that you select. You cannot have a little bit of integrity.

It must be all or nothing”. If Okonjo-Iweala truly understands the whole essence of integrity, we had expected her to come clean on these serious allegations of financial malfeasance instead of allowing her ill-informed Spokesman, such vend-able lick-spittle, to be vomiting incoherent and inconsistent banalities on issues that border on our collective patrimony.

This was the same attitude she put up when the issue of misappropriated N19.5billion Aviation Fund was being investigated under former President, Chief Olusegun Obaanjo. Till date, she has not been able to clear the air on the N6.5 billion loan she allegedly raised from Commercial Banksto fix Control Towers of Four Airports.

That is a story for another day.

Her latest resort to blackmail using her refusal to grant Edo State Government a loan request as the reason why the Comrade Governor is asking her valid questions that border on fraud and financial recklessness is completely at variance with the real issues at stake.

What has the request for loans got to do with the claim that someone dips her hand into the public till to spend what was not approved by the collective? How does she expect the states to survive when she refused to make full disclosure on accruals and declined to give them their share on a regular basis as required by law?

Because she plundered the resources with reckless abandon, she is now running from pillar to post without addressing the real issues. Please help us ask her; Madam Okonjo; what happened to ECA withdrawals?

What is the meaning of “numerical diarrhea” in the context of financial malfeasance and official sleaze that characterized Okonjo-Iweala’s regime as Finance Minster? From the records we have seen so far and the tantrums she has been throwing rather than address the real issues, it is appropriate to conclude that she was indeed Coordinating Minister of Economic Fraud and Financial Malfeasance.

All the acclaimed World Bank experiences were just part of the hollow rituals to hoodwink the Nigerian public from addressing the real issues of mismanagement. We will continue to insist that she comes out clean, no matter how ostentatiously dramatic she chooses to go.
SIGNED….

PRINCE KASSIM AFEGBUA
Special Adviser, Media and Public Affairs

To The Edo State Governor

Fayose condemns DSS invasion of Col. Dasuki’s homes, says; “Dictatorship returning to Nigeria”

Press statement from Ekiti state governor, Ayo Fayose. Read below..

Ekiti State Governor, Mr Ayodele Fayose has condemned the invasion and sealing-off of the Abuja and Sokoto residences of the immediate past National Security Adviser (NSA), Col Sambo Dasuki (rtd) by men of the Department of State Services (DSS), saying; “persecution of Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) stalwarts and others perceived as opposed to the All Progressives Congress (APC) federal government is an ominous sign of imminent return of dictatorship and draconian rule in Nigeria.”

The governor, who said he still believed that the invasion of Col. Dasuki homes may not have the backing of President Mohammadu Buhari, said; “if this is being done by some people to please the president, he should check the excesses of those behind it and call them to other because overzealousness by those that are close to the president is inimical to the image of the government.”

In a statement issued in Ado-Ekiti today his Special Assistant on Public Communications and New Media, Lere Olayinka, Governor Fayose said he was sad that democracy is already being put on trial, less than two months that President Mohammadu Buhari assumed office, adding that; “Rather than invading homes of Nigerians and putting people under house arrest, the government should invade Boko Haram territories and arrest the insurgents.”

Governor Fayose, who also condemned the persecution of Deputy Senate President, Senator Ike Ekweremadu, said; “the desperate plot to remove Senator Ekweremadu from office is dangerous to democratic rule in Nigeria because there is no portion of the Nigeria’s 1999 Constitution that made positions of Senate President and Deputy Senate President the exclusive rights of the political party with highest number of senators.”

He said; “President Buhari should rather keep Boko Haram under house arrest, not opposition party members. Those heavily armed security men that invaded Col. Dasuki’s Abuja and Sokoto homes should have been put to a better use by sending them to the Boko Haram ravaged North Eastern part of Nigeria. “The president should keep the rising exchange rates of Dollar, Pound Sterling, Euro and other foreign currencies under house arrest.

He should pay attention to governance, be guided by the rule of law and be for everyone and for nobody as he promised when he was sworn into office.” He advised President Buhari to be magnanimous in victory, act like a leader and father of all Nigerians instead of seeing his return to power as an opportunity to revenge against those perceived to have wronged him in the past. The governor asked; “Was there any invitation by the DSS to Col. Dasuki that he refused to honour?

Isn’t it worrisome that in this democratic age, security agents could in a commando-like invade the house of a former NSA to carry out his arrest when there is no record that he was invited and he refused to honour the invitation, or that he resisted arrest? “Could Col. Dasuki’s present ordeal be as a result of his advice that the presidential election be postponed? “Is this not an indication of an impending clampdown on PDP members and other Nigerians perceived not to be on the same page with the President Buhari-led All Progressives Congress (APC) government?

“We in the PDP supported our party during the presidential election like every other loyal party members should do, should this display of support for our party and its candidate now warrant persecution by the federal government? “If Col. Dasuki actually committed any offence to warrant his arrest and questioning by the DSS or any of the country’s security agencies, shouldn’t warrant of arrest have been issued against him? Shouldn’t he have been invited by the DSS instead of invading his houses and sealing them off in a commando-liked manner?

“Nigerians must therefore rise against this emerging dictatorship and save the country’s democracy from imminent collapse because today, it is Col. Dasuki, tomorrow it can be any other person.”

SSS Arrests Ex-NSA Sambo Dasuki In Abuja

Operatives of the Directorate of State Service (DSS) on Thursday night arrested ex-national security adviser (NSA), Col Sambo Dasuki (rtd) in his private residence in the Asokoro district of Abuja.

The operatives in four Hilux vans, led by one Mohammed, stormed the home of the former NSA at about 6:40pm and laid siege on the residence, insisting on seeing Dasuki.

Soldiers guarding the home prevented the DSS operatives from gaining entry into the premises which prompted the DSS boys to threaten to force their way into the house.

According to LEADERSHIP, a similar scenario played out in Sokoto, in the home owned by the former NSA’s father, Ibrahim Dasuki, a former Sultan of Sokoto, where some other DSS operatives also stormed the home apparently in search of retired colonel Dasuki.

The operatives who visited the Dasukis’ Sokoto home were said to have searched the property, including a large container that had been in the compound for many years. They were said to have locked in all occupants of the house and would not allow anyone in or out of the building.

The invasion of the erstwhile NSA’s home may not be unconnected with media reports of a planned probe of the defence budget and other alleged abuses of office by the immediate-past service chiefs who were relieved of their duties this week by President Muhammadu Buhari.

DSS men, in the night, whisked away the ex-NSA to one of their facilities in Abuja for interrogation. A top security source last night confirmed the arrest of Dasuki to LEADERSHIP. As at press time, no reason was given for the former NSA’s arrest.

This Big Joke Called BIAFRA Must Be Stopped Now

Nnamdi Kanu’s Biafra Project Must Be Stopped by Joe Igbokwe
Ever since former President Goodluck Jonathan lost the presidential election on March 28, 2015 which some of us knew he would never win based on the facts that we all knew and the statistics available, a majority of the Igbo have been unhappy and angry. They have been cursing and abusing the President and the All Progressives Congress leaders wishing that President Buhari never existed and the APC never formed. Many of them have been so frustrated after the election that they are now looking for a way to get back to the APC-controlled Federal Government.

Now, one Nnamdi Kanu who has been dreaming about the State of Biafra has provided a space for them to vent their anger. Some of them have joined him to begin to wish for the State of Biafra. Suddenly, the so-called Radio Biafra has created a momentum for them.

On Facebook, I have watched with keen interest what these guys dish out on a daily basis in the name of fighting for Biafra. They tell blatant lies, create havoc, make terrible noise, they abuse other Nigerians, and they preach unimaginable propaganda and hate that at once put Igboland in potential danger. I have been waiting for the South-East governors to speak up but they have maintained a deafening silence that suggests complicity. I have also waited for our elders to caution this young man but nothing has happened. 

With the so-called Radio Biafra, Kanu has unleashed an unimaginable trailer-load of lies and potentially dangerous propaganda that have put the Igbo nation in danger. It is now 45 years after the Nigeria-Biafra Civil War and I think that Igbo must rise up to stop this man who apparently never saw the 1967-1970 Civil War and who may not know the implications of what he is doing. He has never consulted anybody to seek his opinion. He has been speaking to the gullible and not too educated people in Igboland, and very soon these uneducated people will take a dangerous decision that may decimate and destroy Igboland. Soon, our people will start complaining that they were not consulted. To be fore-warned is to be fore-armed.

Last week, I saw a photo of a group of people that gave the impression that they are getting a military training somewhere in Igboland. Later, I saw another photograph on Facebook with some youths bearing guns and Kanu standing with them. I may not know where these pictures came from and what they are planning to do but this is the time to speak out and I urge anybody who is anybody who understands where we are coming from to stand up now to be counted. Woe betides a nation whose leaders are children. If we elders do not talk about this evil, posterity will never forgive us. Let us speak out and if these children do not hear us, then it should be on record that we spoke. About a month ago, the barrage of lies and uncontrolled propaganda Radio Biafra dished out everyday drew the attention of the National Broadcasting Commission which asked Nigerians to stop listening to the pirate radio station.

Now, here are compelling reasons why the Igbo must remain in Nigeria in their own interest:

The Igbo fought a civil war of self-determination between 1967 and 1970 and lost about one million people. This should be taken as a huge price for the unity of this country. Having made this monumental supreme price, I think the Igbo should work for the unity of this country based on social justice, equity and fair play.

Nigeria has three major ethnic groups: Hausa/Fulani, Yoruba and Igbo. The Hausa/Fulani Empire has Hausa people stretching all through the Sahel to the Sudan. They are mostly Muslims and they have contact with the Arab world. The Yoruba nation has Togo, Benin Republic, Sierra Leone and even up to Brazil and Cuba to run to where their kinsmen are. The Igbo nation has no outlet anywhere in the world where the language is spoken. Therefore, they must see Nigeria as where they belong and work for its survival.

Nigeria provided a big space for the Igbo to spread their tentacles, explore, excel and blossom. The South-East is too small for this highly mobile and dynamic people to thrive.

The world pays attention to Nigeria today because of our size and population. If Nigeria splits into smaller countries, the world will pack their bag and baggage and leave. Population and size make a nation a destination.

Ndigbo control between 60 and 70 per cent of all the imports in Nigeria and other Nigerians, Yoruba, Hausa/Fulani, Ijaw, Efik, Birom, Tiv, Idoma etc provide a huge market for Igbo mobile and big-time traders.

Monumental inter-marriages between the Igbo and Yoruba and other ethnic groups have thrived for close to 70 years now that we cannot just dismiss all these with a wave of the hand.

Ndigbo own huge and massive investments in property in Lagos and Abuja, and other state capitals in Nigeria. Now, are you going to wish all this away?

Other Nigerian cities have provided safe havens for the Igbo as places to run to cool off whenever self-inflicted crises arise or other problems. When kidnapping became a way of life in the South-East, our people moved to other parts of Nigeria to settle. Now, where will the Igbo go when confronted with these problems in Biafra?

How can the Igbo thrive without their Lagos and Abuja or Port Harcourt? What happens to all their connections and relationships in these places?

We have been so intermarried, interwoven, intertwined, inter-related that the idea of separation may not be encouraged. I do not want to lose my friends from the other parts of Nigeria for anything.

I can go on but there is no need to continue to do so. We must be strong enough to stop this world’s old problems of looking down on people who are different from us. This is the problem of Nigeria. Nigeria’s diversity is a big plus for all of us to excel. United we stand, divided we fall. I confess that the Igbo have not played better politics in Nigeria since 1970 and that has been our bane. Anytime Nigeria wants to change a bad leadership in the country, the Igbo as a bloc will resist it. It happened in 1993 and we lost everything. In 2015, the Igbo were at it again but forces of history prevailed. The Igbo can do better than this.

However, I want Nigerian leaders to show leadership by carrying all Nigerians along in distributing power and resources. If there is no justice, there will be no peace. If there is no peace, there will be no progress. Let justice prevail.

Let us be fair to all concerned. If the truth must prevail and it must prevail, Nigeria has not been fair to Igbo since the end of the civil war. They tell us that there is no victor and no vanquished but in actions and deeds, the victors are still celebrating and enjoying the spoils of the war while the defeated are still languishing in abject neglect. For instance, of all the six zones in Nigeria, only the South-East zone has five states. We have found solace in all these because we have found out that those who are still oppressing the Igbo in Nigeria are not better. 

We also take solace in the findings of the Fathers of the Second Vatican Council that all acts of indignity against human persons, against human society debase the perpetrators more than the victims. It is not that the offended cannot forgive but have the offenders repented? This injustice must stop now for the sake of unity of this country. I wrote Igbos: 25 Years After Biafra in 1995 thinking that the book will prick the conscience of other Nigerians but they have not paid any attention. It has been business as usual. Now, President Buhari must address this injustice. Case rested!

- Igbokwe is based in Lagos

3 Generations: Annie Idibia poses with her mum and daughter

Annie is currently abroad with her family. She's pictured above with her beautiful mum, and her daughter..

Dear Nigerian women: Etcetera explains why men cheat

Etcetera explains why Nigerian men cheat using Toke Makinwa's situation.

When you heard the news that Toke Makinwa’s husband impregnated his girlfriend, you all took to social media to rain insults on Nigerian men. Why men cheat on women they love became a topic for all female radio presenters in the country.

Aren’t you all tired of asking the same question over and over as if it is some perplexing unfathomable mystery? 

Your question is rhetorical, but since it keeps coming up again and again, let me provide some explanations to help you understand the reasons. I will simply tell it like it is, with
no bull, tact, or political correctness. 

It’s just that oftentimes; women do not accept the explanations. But in fact, one can understand it through common sense. Sometimes a man would cheat on his wife or girlfriend because he doesn’t love her anymore; he is bored with her, or even possibly unhappy with their relationship. 

In such scenarios, even women can become unfaithful as well. Women must understand that men are fundamentally different from them and wired differently too. We all know this but feminists try to suppress or deny this universal fact. A man craves variety and seeks novelty, while women prefer familiarity. Men will naturally desire variety when it comes to romantic/sexual partners more than women will. Men easily get bored by the same thing every day or a routine and we are sometimes afraid to voice this. 

Think about this. You ate your favourite eba and egusi soup, and on the second day that you ate it, the pleasure would be noticeably less than the first day. And after a week of eating it, you’d get tired of it and start to strongly desire to eat something else. Your desire for that eba will have diminished at that point. 

I know what you are thinking now, “You can’t compare food with people” right? That’s the typical female reaction to this analogy. However, I’m sorry to say that this analogy does apply because it’s one of the best and simplest ways that it can be explained. 

I am not trying to objectify people. But by accepting such an analogy, it will start making sense to you that men are more visually stimulated than women are. And when a man relies on visual stimulation for arousal, the stimulation wears off at some point, which then requires new stimulation from new women. Got the drift? In other words, visual stimulation is a sensual thing that is fleeting in nature and requires constant variety in order to maintain the stimulation. Thus, men who seek visual stimulation will require variety from more than one partner or lover. 

Women often argue that “true love” never gets old. But the notion of “true love” is indefinable, very personable, and highly subjective. And even for the sake of this argument, if we agree that “true love” never gets old and never wears out, that still doesn’t change what we’re talking about here. 

You see, even if a man has true everlasting unending love for his woman, he can STILL desire another woman he fancies. That’s what our women have to understand, rather than cling to naïve clichés of society. A woman’s heart tends to be able to love only one man at a time, a man’s heart is different and can truly love MORE THAN ONE woman at a time. This might be hard for you to accept, and unfathomable to your values and beliefs about “love.” But it is the truth. 

A man’s heart is molded differently with multiple chambers that enable him to love and desire multiple women. It’s like a tree with different branches, rather than just one. Men usually won’t admit it, because our society doesn’t accept this, but condemns it. 

Ladies, to understand this, think about all the different colours you love. You love pink and sky blue, or red, blue, black and purple. Now, can you like more than one colour at a time? Of course you can! You like the different colours in different ways, on different things, and for the different ambiance and mood that each colour accentuates, right? Likewise, you can like more than one type of cuisine right? Can you like Chinese and Italian foods at the same time? Of course you can. Even if society said you could only like one type of cuisine, it wouldn’t make a difference, would it? After all, society may attempt to create mutually exclusivities, but reality doesn’t. 

These are painfully obvious examples, and I am not arguing that people are like colours or food, but such simple analogies do describe what’s going on inside those who love more than one person or like having many lovers. Just because a man tells more than one woman that he “loves her,” desires her, or has feelings for her, does NOT make him a “playboy” or “liar.” 

He is not necessarily “playing” in terms of acting, nor does it mean he is using people in some sort of pretend “game” where he doesn’t care about their feelings. These are just false judgements by the society especially a feminist or female dominated society like Nigeria is fast becoming. 

To some women, it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t fit their definition of love and loyalty. But it’s the truth. That’s reality and you’ve got to accept it if you want to try to understand it. Not all men unequivocally attach loyalty to true love. Society might do so, but not all human beings do. What women have to understand is that being in a loving relationship does NOT automatically erase one’s desire for other people. 

Of course, men who have multiple partners often do have to lie to the women they romance, by telling them that they are the only one when confronted with the issue. So that is one area in which men commonly lie. However, it doesn’t make them dishonest people in general. It’s just that since most women cannot accept that their partner can pursue someone else beside them, demanding total monogamy in love; men with multiple desires for multiple women are FORCED to lie in order to prevent chaos and failure in courtship. There is no easy way around it. And that is the case even if they are generally honest men. (After all, who hasn’t lied? Everyone has at one time or another, so stop pretending to be an angel!) 

Loving or desiring multiple women has nothing to do with right or wrong, or being good or bad. It is simply a lifestyle and often these men are simply expressing who they are. Thus, infidelity does not make a man “bad” in a moral sense. Often, these men who romance multiple women are tender, caring, good-hearted, loving, nurturing people. Some are even deeply spiritual or religious. 

He doesn’t love you? My dear, the line between love and lust is blurry and subject to personal opinion. There is no universal objective measuring stick for differentiating between “love” (which has so many different meanings anyway) and “lust.”
 In reality, a man can find the perfect woman, who outshines the rest in his life, and can even have a perfect relationship with her, but still look at another woman he finds attractive and desires to court her, romance her, and experience the wonders and pleasures of her femininity as well. 

Some men get a “high” or adrenaline rush from courting, romancing, or seducing new women, in a way that nothing else can, and thus are addicted to it. 

My ladies, there are no perfect solutions or answers to everything. Just accept that some things in life are just meant to be endured, not fixed or solved like an equation. 

To be continued next week.